Fans, doors, and lights (oh, my!)

[Noah <sitz@xxxx>]

Hiya!

OK, so I've got a trio of problems, all electrical. 

1) My cooling fans are flipping on and off every few seconds (5-30, at a
guess). I can hear (and feel it if I'm driving). Additionally, they came
on immediately today, during the first start in 3 days.

2) My 'lock doors' dash light is flipping on and off every few minutes

2a) In a possibly related situation (I dunno, 'cause I am /so/ learning as 
I go here.) either door can, by key or from inside the car, lock both 
doors. But neither door (using key or lock inside) will unlock the other,
only itself.

3) My cabin lights don't come on when the doors open, however, they do
respond to being turned on manually (but then don't we all. Ba-dum bum.) 
The 'door open/ajar/whatever' light comes on on the dash, as do the marker
lights and the engine/luggage compartment lamps. Based on the circuit
diagram I have, this points to either interior lamp delay unit or the
interior lamp diode. I have removed and reseated the former, noting no
corrosion or other random ickiness. How do I test the delay unit? Once I
figure out how to get to the diode, how do I test that? Or is there
something else I should be looking for?

The fan fail module does not exist; I have a factory (or, at the
very least, a factory-style) bypass. Lockzilla has not been
installed. Just as an extra data point, the fans are not flipping on and
off at the same time the 'lock doors' light does. (Yes, I know they're on
seperate circuits, but I figured I'd toss it out there anyway.)

Pointers in the correct direction are appreciated. Methods of testing
potentially faulty components (and what results would constitute 'good' or
'bad') are appreciated. Hell, anything short of a kick in the head is
greatly appreciated. :)

Thanks muchly.

noah
VIN #2867

"I discovered my wife in bed with another man and 
I was crushed. So I said "Get off of me you two." 

-- Emo Phillips