[DMCForum] Confidence. [was: Battle of the Sexes.]
From: Farrar Hudkins <fhudkins@xxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2004 18:54:16 -0500
You must be a lot better-looking than I am.
I don't give love, money, food, or -anything-, for sex. May explain why
I don't get laid much, but also may explain why I've never been
head-over-heels for a woman like a lot of guys are, and why I have no
regrets about my behaviour.
The reason your average woman would win the contest you described and
the average man would lose is because the average woman has more
confidence in her looks and personality than your average man. The
average woman is used to having her ass kissed; nobody kisses the
average man's ass. The average woman has been treated like a goddess by
her previous boyfriends; the average man has been dumped more times than
he would care to remember (probably because he kissed up too much). This
all has an effect on self-image and self-confidence. If you're treated
well, you'll think highly of yourself; if you're treated badly, you're
going to think badly of yourself -- ask any parent.
Confidence can be like a game, though. It's like going into a job
interview -- if you believe you're the man for the job, the guy
interviewing you will get that vibe from you and your chances of getting
the job are good. If you think "Gosh, I'm not really qualified and I'm
sure there are other people out there who could do this job better,"
they'll pick up on -that- vibe and your chances of getting the job are
not so good. I went into the interview for my current job
underqualified, but a good suit and black coffee and some self-talk, not
to mention a pretty braggadocio cover letter, helped me immensely, I'm
sure. Whenever I go into a situation where I need a good self-image, I
psych myself up and remember all the good things about myself so that I
can project confidence.
Back to the female thing ... I call women brats a lot, namely because so
many of them my age do bratty things. So many women in their 20s and 30s
are ridiculously immature. I've even told some women "Call me when you
grow up." Some people still act like they're in high school, and it's
pathetic. I call everything like I see it -- this results in my getting
a reputation as being very opinionated, but I do have a relatively open
mind. I learned a long time ago that life's a lot easier if I'm just
honest all the time. It might make me some enemies, but my friends are
close and we have a lot of mutual respect for one another. (Especially
the female ones.)
Generalizations suck but I'll have to use them a few more times... I
think a lot of male/female interaction has to do with confidence. Most
little boys tease girls out on the playground, then for some reason
become absolutely whipped during their teenage years, and they learn
manipulative behaviour along the way somewhere. Some males grow up to be
self-confident, and others never get out of that needy phase that they
went through as a pubescent hormone-bag.
A woman told me the following: a guy who is confident, no matter what he
looks like, can have an easy time with women. She also said that women
can practically -smell- a lack of confidence in a man. After studying
this, I've found it to be true. I have a much easier time with women now
that I've stopped caring what they think of me. It doesn't make any
sense, but then again neither does female psychology from what I can see.
What she told me was true, though -- I know guys who are not even as
good-looking as I am (and calling me good-looking is a stretch), and the
women adore them. Basically, the guys just -act- as if they're
desirable, and somehow it makes them so. I'm still working on that
technique, but admittedly I don't go out much to meet people these days.
Look at confidence another way: Take the term "con man". Comes from
"confidence trickster". How did these guys work? They had so much
confidence in what they said that people simply believed them. They
tricked people by being confident. Confidence works, even if it's fake. ;)
Whew. I'm exhausted. :P~
--Farrar
DMCVIN6683 wrote:
> ahh you conclusion only works if the Man is a Chippendale.
>
> Take an average Man and an average Woman, place them both in a Bar or
> Night Club, have them have a contest to see who gets laid the most.
>
> The Woman will win every time. Men want sex and Women use that to their
> advantage so they give sex for love and Men give love for sex.
>
> The last time i told a Woman she was a brat was 4th grade.
>
> Mark V
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