Ode To My DeLorean I've owned a DeLorean for six years, February 2001 to February 2007 and it hasn't been a smooth ride all the time. But, I'm still, "Living The Dream." Here is a comparison of my experiences of DeLorean ownership with the song by Adam Sandler called Ode To My Car. If you've heard this song before then you'll get the humor in it. Adam Here we go Piece of s*** car I gotta piece of s*** car The f****** pile of s*** never gets me very far Mark Actually my DeLorean gets me around just fine. Except for the three times it broke down. The first was wiring burned completely through at the Inertia Switch this stranded me along Interstate 5 at 1:00 am in December and fortunately just 11 miles to get towed home. Second time, several years later, was wiring burned through at the Inertia Switch at 7:00 am on my way to the mechanics shop to figure out why my D wouldn't pass emissions. I took two buses to get home. Returned the next day on a bus with some wire strippers and connected the black with the black/pink wire and drove home. Last summer broke down five miles from home while at the video store at 9 pm. I tried what I could for an hour. No luck. Had the D towed home. It turns out to be a hot start problem. All I had to do was disconnect the grey plug from the Control Pressure Regulator and connect it to the Cold Start Injector. This shoots a bunch of fuel into the engine and gets it started. Disconnect grey plug from injector and reconnect to CPR immediately after starting or you'll flood the engine. Adam My cars a big pile of s*** cuz the shocks are f****** shot. Mark True. When I bought my D in 2001 the shocks were original and leaking and the ride was rough. Replaced with PJ Grady's four shocks and front springs kit. Love `em. Adam And my seat belts f****** broken. I got to tie it in a knot. Mark Removed my interior panels covering the rear speakers and seat belt retractors. I let the driver's side seat belt retract all the way in. Big mistake! I couldn't get the belt back out again. Took the belt apart and the spring sprung and couldn't put it back together. Bought a replacement. Then years later threw the broken one away. Adam I can't see through the windshield cuz its got a big f****** crack. Mark Mine has a crack right down the middle from top center to bottom center. Caused by gluing the rearview mirror to the inside sheet of glass. You can feel the crack on the inside and not on the outside. Adam And the interior smells real bad cuz my friend puked in the back. Mark Actually no one puked in my D but I did find water underneath the driver and passenger side carpeting and water in the battery compartment and cubby lock box behind driver's seat. Eventually found the major leaks but it's the little ones that perplex me. Leave standing water in long enough and it gets kind of a musty odor. Adam It's got no CD player, it only got the eight track. Mark DeLoreans came with an AM/FM digital display cassette player. My cassette player worked most of the time. Sometimes it didn't want to play. Put it in the closet. And bought a new CD player. Adam Whoever design my car, can lick my sweaty n** sack. Mark I love the design of the DeLorean. I wouldn't change a thing! Adam And it got no f****** brakes, I'm always out of control. Mark Brakes worked okay, at first. Sometime later I had to replace the brake master cylinder since the pedal was getting mushy. Also had to replace both front brake rotors. Got a shimmy in the steering wheel when applying the brake. Adam Eleven times a day, I hear, "Watch it a**hole!" Mark Really, I get a lot of positive comments about the D. About 99 out of 100 are from guys. Wish ladies had more interest in cars. Adam Well the engine likes to flood, the car always f****** stalls. Mark My engine only stalls when I don't give it enough gas when letting up on the clutch pedal. It also always runs rich and was borderline at passing/not passing emmissions. Adam And the seat cushion gotta big rip, so a spring always pokes the ba***. Mark My leather seats are cracked and splitting open and need new black leather skins. Adam Plus the door locks are busted. I gotta use a f****** coat hanger. Mark The door locks work. It's just that they never seem to want to work in unison. No matter how many times I've adjusted them. Adam The f***er she sees my car, there no chance I'll ever ba** her. Mark Still wish ladies had more interest in cars. Adam Ooooh f****** tires. Mark Bridgestone Potenzas were on my D when I bought it. When it came time to replace them they don't make the rear size anymore. Not a lot of choices out there. Unless you don't mind mixing and matching makes and models of tires. Adam No rear view f****** mirror. Mark Got the rear view mirror permanently glued to the windshield as said before. It's never coming off. It's the electric side view mirrors I'm having issues with. Most of the time they don't move (function). On a rare occasion they do work. Went through the wiring in the doors and roof section. Still can't get them to work. Yes, I already replaced the multi-directional switch. Adam 73 colors. Mark Silver 304 grade stainless steel baby! The front and rear facias need to be stripped and repainted. Adam F****** rag for a gas cap. Mark Got the early two key (one is for door lock, the other is for ignition and locking gas cap) DeLorean. The locking gas cap works but there are no locking gas cap replacements available if it ever should stop working. Adam Tail pipe makin' sparks fly everywhere. Mark Tailpipe doesn't shoot sparks but, people standing behind my D can smell the rich fuel/air mixture. Gotta fix that. Adam The whole town thinks I'm a loser. Mark My friends don't think I'm a loser they just don't understand why I spend so much money on my D. Adam Cabby give me a push. Mark R. 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