Lucas

["Stian Birkeland" <delorean@xxxx>]

Joseph Lucas Ltd, the English Automotive Electronics Manufacturer 
has a reputation not entirely untrue.



The Lucas factory motto: «Get home before dark.»

a.. Joe Lucas' last words: «Don't drive at night.» 

b.. Lucas denies having invented the darkness, but they still claim the «sudden, unexpected darkness». 

c.. Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit, inventors of the first intermittent wiper and the self-dimming headlamp. 

d.. The 3 position Lucas switch: Dim, Flicker & Off. 
The other 3 switch settings: Smoke, Smolder & Burn. 

e.. The Original Anti-theft device: Lucas Electrics. 

f.. If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either. 

g.. It's not true that Lucas in 1947 tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's law; they withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance. 

Did you hear about the guy who asked the owner of a Land Rover «How can you tell one switch from another at night as they all look the same?" He replied, «It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens!" 

a.. Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. 

b.. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb, 

c.. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit. 

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: 

Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sun wise around your car chanting «Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.» 

&  

We fully understand why the Brits drink warm beer, they have Lucas refrigerators. 



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