Re: [DMCForum] Consideration for others.

[Ryan Wright <ryanpwright@xxxxxxxxx>]

On 1/2/06, Marc Levy <malevy_nj@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> It is not such an awful thing to be considerate of
> others.
>
> I guess if you don't care about anything and noting
> bothers you it is hard to be empathetic.

I care about a lot, and I am considerate of others, but I don't let
the little stuff bother me and I don't think others should, either.

[warning, rant coming on strong. Anyone who doesn't normally like what
I have to say should stop reading now.]

It all boils down to intentions: If someone is just plain being mean,
I care, and I'll get upset. If they're just sharing something and I
don't happen to agree with it, I smile and leave well enough alone. If
a person says something that should offend me, but they did so with
good intentions, I don't get offended. Example: I hear the "stupid
blonde" jokes - my wife is blonde and very smart. I could whine myself
into an ulcer and explain how awful the person telling the joke is, to
try to guilt them into apologizing in some vain effort to make them
feel bad for "being mean to my wife" even though they really weren't.
Or I could laugh with them because I know they don't mean any harm;
they don't really think my wife is stupid; they're just having fun. I
choose to laugh with them and have fun.

Naturally, I believe my outlook on life is right and everyone else
should share it. So when someone whines to me, "I'm offended at what
you just said", I usually smile and reply, "Tough shit." Even in
polite company. Strike that, /especially/ in polite company. Why
should I apologize when they're the idiot who chose to get upset at
some random, well-intentioned statement? I won't do it. In fact I'll
intentionally screw with them once I find out they're so whiny and
uppity.

To some people, that makes me an asshole. Screw those people. I'm one
of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. I'd give you the shirt off my
back if you needed it. I get along great with virtually everyone. Just
not the whiners.

It's all about the need to be a victim. Some people always have to be
the victim of something. They just can't get through the day unless
someone victimizes them. So they twist your words such that they can
claim you hurt them. I guess it makes them feel better to believe
you're a mean old jerk and they're just a poor, innocent victim. Quite
frankly, I believe this is a mental disorder. Something is wrong with
these people and they should find a specialist to make it right.

Now, am I saying you, Marc, are one of these people? Not in a million.
You are not really offended by these conversations. You just like to
take the contrary viewpoint on a lot of issues because you enjoy
debate. You have a thick hide and are able to put up with just as much
as you dish out, and I respect that about you.

BTW, this is a correct statement:

> I guess if you don't care about anything and noting
> bothers you it is hard to be empathetic.

Hell yes it's hard. It's impossible. To understand why someone would
whine and carry on when the person speaking didn't mean them any harm?
Why would a person do that? Why let things bother you so much? I'd say
it's the person doing the whining who doesn't have consideration for
others. Let a person talk without trying to guilt them into feeling
bad, for crying out loud...

--
- Ryan
http://www.memfrag.com - Store your bookmarks. On every computer.

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