RE: [DMCForum] 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

[Travis Goodwin <tgoodwin@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

This reminds me. I saw something heeelarious on Ebay yesterday before it got
yanked. The auction was for "Michael Moore's relevance."

That big fat load is gonna get an ulcer fretting over this election. I
didn't vote for Clinton but jeez Louise, I didn't spend 8 years wringing my
hands and wondering how I was gonna be able to go on. If Kerry had won, I
would have said, "Oh well" and looked forward to the chance to vote against
him in 2008. 

Moore is getting perilously close to Howard Stern territory. They both seem
to think the White House is out to get them. I hope they wore their tinfoil
hats to the voting booth so they could influence their decisions with some
sort of super-mind-altering-gamma-beam from space.



-----Original Message-----
From: Marc Levy [mailto:malevy_nj@xxxxxxxxx] 
Sent: Friday, November 05, 2004 10:00 AM
To: DMCForum@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [DMCForum] 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore


11/5/04

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash
it all in, 
let's, in
the words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright
side of life!' 
There
IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for
president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting
president since
Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for
Kerry was young 
adults
(Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your
parents are 
always
wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans
still think the
country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think
the war wasn't
worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job
George W. Bush is
doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure
this one out.
It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof
60-seat majority in 
the
Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be
able to pack the
Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say
"if the Democrats 
do
their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire
Northeast, the 
birthplace of
our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States.
And the whole West
Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most
of the fresh 
water,
all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate
them or bury them 
in
lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a
nut, and not just 
any
old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled
by a poisonous 
nut.
May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces
Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50
years, America 
will
no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't
such a long time! 
If
you're ten years old and reading this, your golden
years will be truly
golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on
Tuesday, cannot get 
married
in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those
wedding gifts we 
won't
have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as
members of Congress,
including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia.
It's always good 
to
have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing
the job our 
candidates
can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in
Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want
them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked
up a net of at 
least 3
chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98
partisan-controlled state
legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate),
Democrats went into 
the
2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans
controlled 53
chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday,
Democrats now control 
47
chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber
is tied and 1 
chamber
(Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no
greater moment 
than
the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for
him from here on 
out --
and, more significantly, he's just not going to want
to do all the hard 
work
that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's
last month in 
12th
grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time!
Perhaps he'll 
treat the
next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even
more time at the
ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's
already proved 
his
point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take
this country down a 
very
dark road, it is also just as likely that either of
the following two
scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever
need to pander to 
the
Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone
may whisper in 
his ear
that he should spend these last four years building "a
legacy" so that
history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus
he will not push 
for
too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will
become so cocky and
arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit
a blunder of such
major proportions that even his own party will have to
remove him from
office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200
million of them of 
voting
age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's
not a landslide 
-- it
means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20
million. If you had 58 
yards
to go before you reached the goal line and then you
barreled down 55 of
those yards, would you stop on the three yard line,
pick up the ball 
and go
home crying -- especially when you get to start the
next down on the 
three
yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More
sports analogies are
coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million
Americans voted for 
the
candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate."
That's more than the 
total
number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I,
Clinton or Gore.
Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the
media are 
looking for
a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans
were, for the first 
time
since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out
liberal. The country 
has
always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not
news. What IS news 
is
that so many people have shifted toward a
Massachusetts liberal. In 
fact,
that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the
mainstream media, the 
ones
who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real
truth about 
November
2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll
need the element 
of
surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me
yesterday, "My
Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember,
Morton, this is such 
a
wonderful country  -- it doesn't even need a
president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again
tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@xxxxxxx
www.michaelmoore.com



            
__________________________________ 
Do you Yahoo!? 
Check out the new Yahoo! Front Page. 
www.yahoo.com 
 




 
Yahoo! Groups Links

Yahoo! Groups Sponsor

ADVERTISEMENT

---

Yahoo! Groups Links

• To visit your group on the web, go to:
  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DMCForum/
   
• To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  DMCForum-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
   
• Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.