[DMCForum] Another Joke..

[Marc Levy <malevy_nj@xxxxxxxxx>]

As I watch the local news here in NJ, They just said
that currently 1 in 8 NJ jobs are at risk for "off
shoring", most in the computer and math fields.


On that note:

Washington D.C. - Congress today announced that the
Office of President 
of the United States will be outsourced to overseas as
of June 30th, 
the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to
save $400,000 a 
year in salary, a record $521 billion in deficit
expenditures, and 
related overhead. 


"The cost savings will be quite significant," says
Congressman Adam 
Smith (D-Wash) who, with the aid of Congressional
research arm The General 
Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American
jobs 
extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this
level of outlay and remain 
competitive in the world stage," Congressman Smith
said. Exporting American 
jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically at
the urging of 
President Bush.
 
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the
termination of his 
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses
and salary until his 
final day of employment. After that, with a two week
waiting period, he 
will then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from
unemployment 
insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately, he will not be
able to receive state 
Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment
benefits are over 
the required limit. 
"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought for sure
I'd have some job 
security around this here place. I have no idea what
I'll do now," he 
further lamented.
 
Preparations have been underway for some time for the
job move. Sanji 
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India,
will be assuming 
the Office of President of the United States as of
July 1. Mr. Singh was 
born in the United States while his parents were here
on student visas, 
thus making him eligible for the position. He will
receive a salary of 
$320 USD a month but with no health coverage or other
benefits. Due to 
the time difference between the US and India, Mr.
Singh will be working 
primarily at night, when offices of the US Government
will be open. 

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh
stated in an 
exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep
my day job at the 
American Express call center. I always knew I could be
President someday." 

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh, as
he may not be 
fully aware of all the issues involved with his new
position. A 
Congressional spokesperson noted that, "Mr. Singh has
been given a script tree to 
follow which will allow him to respond to most topics
of concern." The 
spokesperson further noted that, "Additional savings
will be realized, 
as these scripting tools have already been used
previously by Mr. Bush 
here in the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh to
provide an answer 
without having to fully understand the issue itself." 

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing
possibilities including 
that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.




      
            
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