Re: [DMCForum] Re: OK, now I am going to get my ass KICKED!

[Bob Brandys <BobB@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Robert,

You raise some interesting questions and philosophies about raising 
kids.    It is ironic that with a written history going back some 5000 
years, mankind still has not figured out how to raise good kids.

in my experience, there are both genetic and social reasons.

Having worked counciling hundreds of young teenage people and having 
taught hundreds more at the college you find out quite of bit of 
information of how parents screw up their kids.   The first thing is 
that most parent simply had kids either by accident or be it was the 
current thing to do- because all their friend were  having kids.  It 
gave them something similar to talk about..

Virtually NONE of these parent ever studied child rearing or the 
psychology of young people and young minds.
Worst yet, we as a society choose to PURPOSEFULLY NOT educate people on 
how to communicate with young people.

Many people  still use the same techniques they use with animals,  
painful punishment to control their kids.  All that does is result in 
worse behavior which has been passed on from generation to generation.

It is interesting that with positive training of animals we have been 
able to communicate with them and they respond by doing task which we 
humans want.    The elephants in Thailand actually seem to enjoy 
helping people move lumber.

Reasoning with children right from the start - rather than beating on 
them- is the right way to raise kids.  Sure they do not understand many 
of the concepts and yes their behavior may not change as fast as lazy 
parent want it too, but in the long run, reasoning of want behavior is 
more desirable will produce a better adult.     It find it interesting 
that as more and more parent today have less and less time to spend 
raising their kids, we see many more young adults with behavior 
problems.

The worst examples I have seen is of rich people who ignore their kids 
and have them raised (fed) by nanies who barely speak english.  These 
kids are wild,  they have no valve of family, and think nothing or care 
nothing about other people.  All they ever want is money- because money 
bought them toys which is the only positive thing they  have ever 
experience.

Hence, when they enter society their only goal is money and they have 
no cares about other people and their families.  Hence, they idle 
executive.   They send these kids to schools which reinforce this anti 
social behavior and greed for money.

The studies of abusive parents clearly show a relationship of abuse 
behavior passed from generation to generation.  Until the cycle broken, 
the behavior continues.   Why do we not teach children about this 
problem from an early age?

The most interesting aspect of raising children is how much of their 
behavior is pre programmed genetics.   Comparisons of habits between 
parents (when they were children) and their own children are 
interesting reading.   It clearly shows that eugenics may actually have 
been a smart idea.

Anyways,  it still is unbelievable after thousands of years, we still 
do not know have to raise good children.
Bob

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