[DMCForum] attn: Walt [judgement/spiritualism]

[Farrar Hudkins <fhudkins@xxxxxxx>]

Walter Coe wrote:
> Cool.  But still you do that because you have faith in
> yourself.  Do you have enough faith in yourself that you
> will be prepared for what happens when your current life is
> over?

Walt,

This is going to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm just telling you how I 
feel.

Actually, I do have enough faith. After a long "journey of faith" (for 
lack of a better term) and a period of reflection and introspection 
(alcohol is good for introspection, you know), I've decided that I have 
to the best of my ability lived a good life. I have never acted out of 
malice or vengeance (thought about it, yes, but stopped myself because 
it would hurt someone else). Whenever I have hurt someone it has been 
accidental, and I have always apologised for it. I have always accepted 
apologies from others, and am willing to give those who have wronged me 
another chance. Anyone in my past who has wronged me could show up at my 
door and I would receive them as an equal.

I believe that it is all right to do what makes me happy as long as it 
doesn't hurt anyone else. My life could end at any moment and I would 
say that even though perhaps I had not achieved some goals, it was a 
good one, and no one could prove on solid ground that I am a bad person.

I have learned to find happiness in life with far less than other people 
have. And although I have goals, they're not goals that I need to be 
happy -- they're just things that I'd like to do, to see if I can do them.

Strange to have that sort of spiritual fulfillment at my early age, but 
somehow it has happened. It's ironic, really -- before I left the church 
I always wanted to be a holy man. And recently a friend of mine said 
"You'd make a very good minister." I answered that I am not a member of 
a church but I have my own personal beliefs arrived at after a long time 
of inner and outer searching, but if I had a choice, though, it would be 
minister of music. It's my greatest talent, and though I have few 
others, why ask for more?

So, yes... I can face judgment at any time. I am ready.

Although I'd rather finish this chicken sandwich first, before it gets 
cold. I hate to see a good bird go to waste. ;)

--Farrar

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