[DMCForum] Re: Paying for college

["ryanpwright" <yahoo1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

--- In DMCForum@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Jack Stiefel" <jackstiefel@xxxx> wrote:
> Well I guess since you had a buddy who had those opportunities given
to him
> and turned out poorly, we all should heed your advice and when our
kids turn
> 18 thrust them out in the cold so they become bitter broke adults.  

Jack,

Thrusting your children out in the cold when they turn 18 would not be
heeding my advice, for I never advocated anything of the sort.

My children will be welcome to live with me free of charge while they
are attending college. If they're still living with me by the time
they're 19 and they aren't going to college, I'll probably institute a
small monthly fee for rent, not because I'm greedy but because I want
to teach them responsibility. And if they choose to attend college -
and I really hope they do - there will of course be financial help
from me involved.

But there won't be a free ticket provided.

> I have been very lucky, my father designed a melting furnace that
made us
> lots and lots of money ( in fact I currently own 3 homes they bought
for me
> in cash, plus college was a drop in the bucket for my parents and I
still
> made it in 4 years and with a 3.+ gpa...I must be terribly
irresponsible),

Jack, I think that is the difference between you and I. My parents
were never rich. We weren't poor, either - we had small luxuries, like
a boat, a small but nice home, and newer vehicles - but they couldn't
have afforded my entire college tuition without hardship, let alone
bought 3 homes with cash. So I learned that if I wanted to get ahead
in life it was up to me, and they would help where they could.

It's worked out well for me. I've had to earn everything I have and
I'm proud of that. If my parents would have had a lot of money, I
would have certainly let them buy me homes, pay for college, etc. And
my attitudes about these things would probably have mirrored yours. 

But they didn't have it, and neither do I. Oh, I'm doing good for
myself financially - I don't think anyone here is that terribly bad
off considering we're driving DeLoreans - but I don't have loads of
extra cash laying around. Sending a child to college now would result
in a debt load that would take me 20 years to pay off, and I'm not
willing to do that. It doesn't mean I don't love or value my children
and their future. 

Of course, my oldest is only 7, so my financial situation will surely
be different in another decade. If she is responsible with money and
can get good grades, and if I can easily afford it, maybe I'll pay for
it all. There are so many factors involved I can never say for sure
either way.

> person.  Even then College was a must.  

I view college as very important, but I also recognize that I can't
force my children to do it. I will highly encourage them, but in the
end it will be up to them. 

> I have never wrecked a car and had it replaced by them, but had I
wrecked
> one the insurance would have covered repairs.  I am well rounded, never
> abused their generosity.  I am now 30 years old, am married and have
2 kids.

You certainly aren't the stereotypical "rich kid" and I'm glad for
that. We have different backgrounds and different financial situations
which explains the differences in our position on these matters. 

-Ryan

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