Claudius the Cruel eliminated marriages and engagements in the Roman empire to swell his army. A man who campaigned against it was locked up until his death on the 14th of February, 270. When Christianity took over Europe several hundred years later, they decided to take the legend and make him a Saint, and rename the fertility festival of Lupercalia in honor of him, thereby achieving two goals: getting rid of the pagans and making sure there were more little Christians walking around (approximately nine months later, that is). In these modern times, death of a guy who fought the Romans is pretty much ignored, and the focus is to get a small portion of the population to spend a lot of money for a week or so. No, no, I'm not talking about Christmas. I'm talking about Valentine's Day. We all know that Valentine's Day sucks, and that the only people who celebrate it are people who think that a hormonal imbalance influenced by someone in close proximity to their living quarters is love. We know that the greetings card industry are the only people who profit from this. Today let's take the time to laugh at everyone carrying flowers, balloons, candy, or whatever, spending a romantic afternoon in public with the current object of their affection, or other similarly useless activities. Tell them that there's a white ooze coming out of their shoes, pretend to be their ex-gay-lover, tell them North Korea dropped the bomb on Sacramento -- do SOMEthing to get that smile off of their syrup faces and back on yours. Hallmark capitalizes on this holiday, and we can too. They steal money today, so let's steal someone's happiness! It's not Valentine's Day; it's Singles Awareness Day. He's dead; we're alive. Now go out and get drunk. America is counting on you. Send complaints to: Farrar Hudkins [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: DMCForum-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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